I wrote a very, very terrible book
Was it worth it?
This is a depressing tale. For me. Most likely not for you. This is entertainment for you.
I wrote a book.
The idea of the book was to “teach” 16-24 year-olds about what’s wrong with fashion - covering the what and the why of clothes production and the subsequent impact on people and planet. Followed by what needs to happen to fix it.
While I’m long past being part of this age bracket, (so long that it often feels like a past life), I do have two kids sitting right in this space now so I, somewhat arrogantly it turns out, thought I could write such a book easily and it would, obviously, be a best-seller.
I even had a title “Re.define Fashion” and a graphic designer ready to roll.
Hubris.
The point where self-confidence morphs into arrogance can, sometimes, be hard to spot.
We’re told often to possess more confidence, to put ourselves out there, to have self belief, to do it, ship it, send it.
I know I could do with a bit more self confidence. But that should not translate into negligently contributing to the gazillion or so articles that are published each day (over 5000 news articles in the US alone and around 7.5 million blog posts per day).
I think more thought, or at least a little thought, should go to the point of publishing matched to the quality, ie what do I want to achieve by posting this and will what I have written achieve that.
Humility.
WIth that reflective hat on, and in no way am I being melodramatic or overly critical, the book is even more terrible.
In an effort to be like Julia Stiles in the excellent, and oh so memorable clip, from “Ten Things I Hate About You” I could, easily, compile a list of ten things that I hate about the book. Julia’s list though, ended up being ten things that she really did not hate about Heath. Remember her final statement,
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you.
Not even close
Not even a little bit
Not even at all.
Clever, right (because, clearly, she does not hate Heath at all).
Sadly, my list comes with no twist like this.
There’s no upside.
I hate the writing. I hate the grammar. I hate the patronising tone. I hate the informational aspects of it. I hate how it contains too many facts. I hate that it’s just not good. And I really hate the fact that I have failed.
I tried to make it better. Mostly so that I could recapture some of my time spent on the project.
I did minor edits.
I did major edits.
I rewrote the whole thing.
Twice.
Yet it remained, stubbornly, terrible.
What to do?
Well, this is what I did.
My guide of what to do when you write a book that sucks (and you realise it).
Lie in bed for far too long every day.
Watch a lot of really crappy TV.
Attempt to do yoga but really just lie on the floor and wriggle your toes so your family stays away.
Eat chocolate (fair trade and ethically sourced only although that seems harder and harder to find so then get in a spin over transparency claims and traceability programs).
Download a nature app with the idea that you will now tracks your time in nature - because and you need a legitimate reason to look at your phone again and the world, clearly, needs yet another app (not!) to do what we know we should be doing anyway.
Rant to your kids and husband that there is no point in anything when the leadership (supposedly of the world) tells us that we should just look after ourselves and money - loads of money - and stuff, ie more clothes because you need more clothes, is what is important.
At some point, I had to move on.
Fashion’s problems.
Here is a condensed version of what I listed in the book as the problems of fashion, noting (again) that my (wishful and mistaken) thinking was that, in providing the information 16-24 year-olds would change their fashion choices.
The set up: fashion takes (raw materials) to make (clothes)to waste (throw away).
The speed: prioritising the objective of lowering production costs through optimising efficiency, (maximising outputs by minimising inputs).
The opacity: the complex supply chains involved, coupled with the drive for efficiency, and its focus on outsourcing and offshoring to achieve greater efficiencies, has made it challenging, if not impossible, to track who is doing what, where they are doing it and what the impacts are (there are also multiple regions and countries involved, governed by multiple, and often not complementary, laws).
The systematic undervaluing of people and planet: both people and planet are classified as external to production (they are either devalued or not valued at all) despite the fact that people and planet are vital for fashion. In fact, they are the most vital because, without them, there would be NO fashion.
The lack of visibility over impacts: The people who really should see the damage that is being done (ie the fashion moguls, a very small minority who sit at the very top of the supply chain and are making insanely huge profits by making more and making it faster and the shoppers) are, usually, located furthest away from where the social and environmental impacts occur.
The very definition of fashion: everyone is told (constantly) to believe that fashion is what is the latest, it should be cheap (therefore it’s ok to be made from bad materials because it is disposable) and it’s our right to buy often and buy more. Shopping will make you happy.
There is nothing new here. It’s just a(nother) list of things that are bad.
I’m not convinced that the world - and especially 16-24 year olds - needs to have more commentary about all the badness.
And I am even more convinced of this when all that can be offered in return are meta solutions.
Because that is all I have right now; a set of solutions that relates back to how the system has been constructed.
Obviously, the system needs to:
Place people and planet at the centre.
Shift success for the fashion industry.
Change the definition of fashion.
Protect the future.
But what does a 16-24 year-old immediately do with this?
What does anyone do with this?
Specifically does knowing this actually change anyone’s behaviour which, if you remember, was the point of writing a book in the first place.
I don’t think so.
Spoiler alert: We’re now at the salutary lesson part of the story where I tell you what I have learnt from the experience of writing a really terrible book.
What does one do when they realise that they have been totally misguided in their approach?
(What does one do when they realise they are, quite possibly, misguided about life in general. I mean, who would not want to be a 16-24 year old wanting clothes so that they can get dressed up for a party on the weekend instead of being an angry middle aged woman who wears black all the time and enjoys, far too much, the satisfaction that comes from looking out her clean windows (that she cleaned, again.))
Apparently, one pivots.
You (as in me) somewhat belatedly (after many months of re-drafting) give up on providing information to 16-24 year-olds that will inevitably, no matter how hard you try, make them feel bad, or worse than they probably already feel, about the state of the world and what they are being left to fix (if it even is fixable)
Because that was not a story.
Instead, you show.
You work at providing a much more compelling tale, one that is authentic because it’s based on a real life, even if that life is not a 16 year old’s life. It’s honest because it doesn’t pretend to have all of the answers (because no-one does) and it shows just how complicated and challenging change is. That’s not the same as saying the task is impossible; it’s not. But the “hero” (with some serious electronic beats blasting from her computer stereo) will have to work at overcoming some stuff, face up to her flaws and really start living the way she claims she wants others (ie 16-24 year olds) to live (and ) in order to assist in shifting the mega system that we’re all living in and through.
And that is the premise of the new book that I’m writing!
Chapter 1 is about the size of my bottom and my need to wear black and baggy. I have the plan and a rough outline for the next few chapters (and a very loose working title, that will have something to do with a ‘great unravelling’).
Chances are this book will also fail (let’s be honest, the sentence structure is still not great, I could do with reading a thousand more books about how to write better) but, it’s way more authentic then what I was trying to do before and I think that’s actually the point of life and of fashion. Be who you are and then try and be better, for others and for the planet.
jb
the soundtrack
Three songs that speak to the power of self belief and second chances. Glee - oh Glee. This song is super and the story behind this performance is fantastic. Two of the Glee superstars had been rejected by the X Factor judges previously. This is their come back! Billy Joel is a little random here (slightly slow for me) but two of my kids have recently discovered him and they love him. Vienna is on almost non-stop. I love that for them, not so much for me. Childish Gambino. Well, I like Donald Glover a lot(Community is utterly brilliant). The title of this particular song is amazing and its beats are superb. Enjoy.